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Tracy Giesz-Ramsay's avatar

Fascinating. The gender averages and research always surprise me. As someone who was fortunate to have my spouse (who is also very hands-on *and* emotionally attuned) present for our daughter’s first three years, I wholeheartedly support giving men extended parental leave. And socializing it to the realm of a public good.

Mine and I both took a career hit to be there once our baby was born—and I didn’t have any PPD or anxiety to contend with, likely as a result of us *both* prioritizing being at home. He does a ton of the paperwork, housework, and play. I did years of breastfeeding and the night time responding (we attempted him doing it but my physiology wouldn’t allow for that.) And still, we’re both burnt out, exhausted beyond belief.

Would offering extended parental leave to both parents help ease gender stereotypes, social expectations, and—as Darby Saxbe’s wonderful work shows—aid the patresence neuroplasticity and hormonal changes fathers have that makes them incredible parents as well?

It’s dumbfounding that caring for an under three was ever relegated to a “one person job” — as it clearly is not. Elena Bridgers’ excellent work on hunter gatherer societies shows this all too well. Policy should support parents to be present, hard stop. Educating the public on why is the first step. And I think the neuroscience on how parent-infant co-regulation bolsters adult mental health is a good starting point!

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Kiya Taylor's avatar

Mélina what a fascinating essay — thanks for sharing. I had no idea about this program in France — which sounds like a UBI-type approach for caregivers? I’m very interested in that topic, particularly the part-time model — so thank you for sharing this! I’m looking forward to digging into this more.

Oh and the point on knowledge transfer is brilliant, and actually acknowledges the deep work required in care.

(Darby Saxbe (funnily mentioned in the above comment) wrote a great piece on UBI for caregivers you might enjoy as well.)

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